I ain’t healed. I’m a holistic health practitioner who has spent the last 15 years trying. It’s been a disappointing, frustrating, ugly, rage inducing journey because healing isn’t pretty. Healing is always uneven and unpredictable. It can happen in moments of despair but can also peek through during riotous fits of laughter. Even in the stillness of grief, the momentum towards a better you never stops. It changes shape and disguises itself as perceived failure, but I’ve learned that feeling is just an illusion. In these years of wins and losses, I’ve found that the greatest gains come from never succumbing to cynicism. In seeing past the veil, and having faith there is hope and healing on the other side.
The blog entries to come are snippets of my journey that have taught me lessons, humbled me, changed my perspective and showed me that wellness is possible despite chronic illness and mental health struggles. Through the challenges of being both a patient and a healer, these stories are meant to shine a light on the process of reclaiming your health and searching for deeper meaning to the struggles we endure.
The beginning of my career focused on how to attain wellness in the physical body, and though that brought me far, it was an incomplete picture of true health. My mental health has evolved over the years, and the greatest revelation about my own mind, is that I am not my mind. I am not my thoughts. I am only an observer and the more I differentiate myself from the identity my mind has created, the clearer I see myself for who I really am.
And all I am, along with every living being on this planet, can be reduced down to energy. It is the unifying factor of the different paths that have led me to a greater understanding of this world. Learning Reiki and studying the science of crystals brought me to the precipice, but it’s only the lived experience of working with and honoring energy work that has led to me to spread awareness of its importance. How integrating energy therapy into our lives can enhance both the mundane and the magnificent moments in life.
Energy work opened my intuition and taught me to listen to my gut. Energy work comforted me through painful medical procedures and powered my will to learn to walk again, after an autoimmune disease flare robbed me of that ability. Energy work helped me deliver my baby. Energy work assisted me to process the grief of lost loved ones and to tangibly feel how energy changes in every cycle of life.
And despite these incredible leaps in knowledge and experience in connecting the holistic model within me, I ain’t healed. I’m healing. I’ve learned that what’s mine to encapsulate will be revealed in time. Timing is a gift. For me, writing about the experience of practicing holistic health brings vividness to the memories. The work is subtle and can be fleeting in memory, but the sensations remain embedded in my being. I hope to translate them for you, not for validation, but as insight into a world that remains a mystery for some. Most people will never tap into their energetic selves. Their soul’s journey is not ready for that in this lifetime. But for those that recognize the silent knowing in their body, the flashes of intuition, the hints of being capable of so much more, now is your time to begin the process of healing. It’s already in you. It’s already in me. And now is my time to guide you to tap into your energetic self. To reveal the wellness within you.